Whatevs

i have no real direction for this blog, other than i am just bored and felt like writing. Tomorrow i get to work a half day then go to a work Christmas party. I work with some fucking characters, let me tell you. The only thing that really makes me want to go to the party is that it is a free 5 course meal and open bar. I will get shit faced on my bosses dime. I will probably only be working at this job for another 2 and 1/2 months and then i will quit and go on tour. I am trying to decide if it would be best to do the foundry tour followed by a bald eagle tour. That would put me on the road for at least 3 months straight. While that sounds fun, i am not sure i have the money to make it happen. I would also like to finish writing the new Bald Eagle record before we do a big tour on it. It looks like everything is set for 2 dates with Cursive in January (with the possibility for more). Right now music is the only thing keeping me focused, i am so sick of people and the thought of trying to have a relationship with anyone in Columbia makes me want to fucking puke. Welcome to a town full of 23 year old hipster bitches who have fucked every hipster douche bag in town, and are terrified to talk to you because you have a beard and play in bands. Fuck it i don't want to talk to you anyhow.

I am seriously thinking of doing this new years challenge, which would basically be a sober off. If you drink you loose, last man standing (whoever can go the longest without drinking wins). $100 buy in. I would even be down for including soda in this. I think i could kill at this, the only thing that sucks is the mass amount of free beer you get offered on tour, but i say bring it on.

The other day at Taco Bell, some dude in blue sweatpants was talking about how awesome the new Punisher movie is, he said "it is better than that last Batman movie". He was awesome. I also have been told Merry Christmas for the last month and half by this old lady that works at Taco Bell, she also likes to hand out cinnamon flavored peppermints. One day she was talking to, two other old ladies and said "that baby is coming, the water broke and they are scrapping the membrane" not exactly what i want to hear before i eat Taco Bell. Did you know they found a foot inside a brain tumor of a 3 week old baby. GROSS!.

I found out more people actually read this pile of barf than i thought, so maybe i should write something interesting in it.

So here something fun for you. Last Friday i got so drunk i puked 3 times off a porch in east campus. Then me and my friends, all of which were equally drunk decided to drive home and pick up some random dude that was walking. It was about 15 degrees out and he had no coat on. He too was drunk and was trying to find his way home. He had no idea where he was, so we took him home. Let just say he was a good 15 miles from where he needed to be and was headed in the wrong direction. He gladly gave the driver $10. The next night i went to a scarf party in St. Louis (not that is not some weird party where dudes shit on each other). Basically everyone wears a shitty scarf. The party sucked, so me and the Schuh went to our friend Ryan's apartment and watched crappy movies and crashed. I used my coat as a pillow and had blanket that covered only half of my body. The next morning we watched The Ginger Sead Man, starring Gary Busey. It was a little over and hour long and basically Gary Busey dies and comes back to life as a gingerbread man and kills people, you get the idea. What a weekend. Ugh.

a cursive invite

Today was a good day. I was working on some art for the new Foundry record last night and was up pretty late, so i thought this morning was gonna be rough. I actually woke up feeling pretty good. I got a new phone and with it comes email updates, which means i get emails the second they come in and i can write back on my phone (both awesome and annoying).

Anyhow when i woke up i had a email from the band Cursive personally asking us to play some of their January tour dates. Columbia was a given, but they also wanted us to do one of their last two shows of the tour in Omaha, NE (their hometown). They will be playing both Friday and Saturday night and they wanted Bald Eagle to be apart of one of those shows, plus we are in talks about getting added to anything else on that tour that they would need a band for. Lets just say that felt good.

The Foundry tour is shaping up well also, it looks like we will be gone from Feb 26th until April 18th or so, with a one week break in the middle and a trip to SXSW. SXSW might be interesting as i am trying to get Bald Eagle in as well, so it might mean double duty for a few shows.

I am just sick of being at home and want to get on the road, but i don't want to lose money or my job. I do however feel like the next few road trips will be worth job/money loss.

I have kind of got in the mind set of staying in for the winter and trying to get things accomplished, and to save money. It is cold and boring this time of year in Columbia anyhow, all there is to do is drink, and i can do that at home for cheaper than going out to bars.

Really into a little E.P by a band called Mayola called Everybody. Good stuff.
Writing with Bald Eagle is going well, we are more than half way done with writing the new record, and the songs are getting crazy.

pulling the plug

For the last 5 and half years i have been in a relationship, at least 3 years of that has been long distance (about 6 hours apart), and about the last year of that 5 and half years has been up and down, the last 3 or 4 months have been without us talking, which pretty much lead me to believe that things ended a long time ago. Last night i pulled the plug on this relationship, while this might be one of the hardest things i have had to do, i felt that it had to be done, that there had to be an official end to it and not just something left up in the air and in question. I certainly have been wondering what my status was for awhile.

Every relationship i have ever been in has ended very badly, to the point of me no longer being able to talk to anyone of my ex-s. I have two that are married (one now divorced), one that has kids, and a few others none of which i can look in the face or stand to be in the same room as. However with this relationship i didn't and don't want that to be the case. This person was my best friend for 5 + years and knows more about me than probably anyone. I can't think of any thing that i have committed to for more than 5 years, so this was not easy. I just felt that between the long distance and us growing up we both grew apart and simply became different people. We both became to involved in our own lives to pay attention to each others and being far apart made that really easy.

So all in all everything went very well and it is good to close a book that has been open for too long, even though it certainly was not fun and hurt a lot to do. I never feel like hurting peoples feelings (though i know i come off like a jerk, i might be the nicest jerk you'll ever meet). I really feel like i can still be friends with this person and continue to have them as part of my life. I just can't commit to a relationship with that person right now and know that it is right. I am depressed and confused and having panic attacks and bad anxiety, but having an answer to everything kind of helped with all of that. The best way i can put it, is that it is like watching some die that you know was going to die for a very long time. You know that is over and that you just have to let it go. I am at peace with it. It's not easy, and i have cried a lot in the last few days. I am not real sure why i am sharing this other than maybe it will explain a few things to the few that read this, and will keep me from having to explain in person. I am just happy that i can walk way and know that i still have one of my best friends by my side.

I'm sorry if i fucked up.

ugh...

i have had a adventure in reality and it has been both wonderful and awful i am in a blizzard of what the fuck right now. Mixed emotions and lost hopes, things don't get easier as you get older and i am terrified with every decision i make. I just don't think you can bend over backwards for people without breaking your back and being left there to suffer in your own pool of doubt. It just sucks to crush people but at the same time get crushed yourself. I don't want to be the person who doesn't talk, but right now i have nothing good to say. If i do talk it seems to come out wrong. I don't know that i can explain this or that it needs explaining. I feel awful and mean no harm. I need to close a chapter and move on.

ALL THINGS MUST PASS

It's been forever, who cares. Lot's has happened i have thrown a vegetable tray at someone, i have seen a hat fly off an old mans head flip 3 times and land on a bicyclists head and he was riding by and the bicyclists had no idea, i have played multiple shows, i have drank multiple beers, i have recorded half of a new record, i have voted for a new president, i have put things off, i have got things done, i have seen movies, i have got mad, i have got sad. NONE OF THIS MATTERS.

I just felt like writing today, as there seems to be a lot on my mind. Not sure that i am in the mood to share, but maybe i will start updating more often.

It feels weird when your whole life no one has ever given a shit, and then you think maybe someone does, but hey all things must pass. I won't hold my breath i'll hold my stomach cause it hurts. ANXIETY IS A BITCH. blah

lets go on tour and forget about columbia already.

Microsoft uses a Bald Eagle song.

So we scored a deal with Microsoft Zune. Basically they are using our song "Those Are Cobras, Man" to promote a set of graphic novels called "The Lost Ones". The graphic novels will be online as well as in print form, i believe there is 5 or 6 total and they come on on June 26th. Right now "Those Are Cobras, Man" is just being used in a behind the scenes video (basically the making of The Lost Ones), but will later be used to go along with one of the graphic novels. We couldn't be happier. Thanks Microsoft.The video can be seen at www. zune-arts. net/lost

Here is the official word on it:
Zune Arts to Preview Upcoming Graphic Novel Written by Steve NilesSix video podcasts provide a behind-the-scenes look at the making of The Lost OnesREDMOND, WA — June 11, 2008 — In anticipation of the upcoming Zune Arts graphic novel The Lost Ones, six behind-the-scenes video podcasts are being released today on Zune Marketplace and Zune-arts. net.

The videos chronicle the creative collaboration between 30 Days of Night author Steve Niles and the novel's four graphic artists—Dr. Revolt, Gary Panter, Kime Buzzelli, and Morning Breath.Featuring music from Bald Eagle's track "Those are Cobras, Man," these exclusive podcasts take viewers into the world of each artist, giving insight into their background, process, style and approach to this unique collaborative project. Writer Steve Niles also shares his journey of writing the novel and comments on his experience in collaborating with the other artists.The Lost Ones tells the story of Duncan, Roxy, Rasheed and Cynthia, who leave their Earth and get swept up in an epic intergalactic adventure. What starts out as a harmless day of extreme planet jumping turns into a mind-blowing, white-knuckle race for their lives to get back home.

The Zune Arts program brings the best creative minds together to collaborate on inspiring works of art. With The Lost Ones, Zune Arts expands beyond videos and posters and makes it first foray into the graphic novel format.Collector's and paperback editions of The Lost Ones will be available for free in June 2008 at select comic book stores nationwide.To watch the behind-the-scenes videos, visit www. zune-arts. net/lost

About Zune Arts:
Zune Arts is a program that offers emerging and established artists a unique collaboration opportunity and platform to share their work with a broader audience. At the heart of Zune Arts are ideas about friendship, sharing, connecting and discovery that serve as both a guide for artists' work and an ethic for the art that’s produced through this program.

swimming movies in the closet i built before the shit storm

Almost every Friday last Summer Erik Moore and I went swimming together. So I started bugging Erik about it a few weeks ago, as i wanted to start the trend again this year. So Friday I worked all day and it rained and i was little bummed out that we wouldn't get to go swimming, but by the time i got off work it had stopped raining but was still overcast pretty badly. I called Erik to see if he was down for still going and he was, he also had Stephen with him. I went home and got my swim trunk and picked Stephen and Erik up, and off we went to the pool. We got there and i was afraid the pool was closed because no one was there, they were open but looked like they were gonna pack it up and go home any minute. That was until we showed up and they had to stay open, we paid our $3.50 (which is higher than last year) and went in. We had heard that the built a water slide and we were all pretty excited about that, but when we got inside it was still being worked on and was non-functioning. We get in the pool and we are the only 3 people there, besides the 10 or so lifeguards (4 on duty 6 walking around) and a cop. The lifeguards looked pissed because we were there and they had to stay open, we even heard a few of them ask each other if they were staying open and then say well i guess we have to and then they would look down at us. So we made it our mission to stay as long as we could so they couldn't leave and we just sat in the pool and jumped off the diving board all the while the guard just starred us down. Finally after about two hours we had had enough so we decided to leave. Right as we were walking to the gate 5 other kids showed up to make the guard have to stay even longer. We were very happy that someone had taken our place. Later that night i went to a bbq at my friend Cody's house it was his fake birthday party, we ate lots and drank summer shandy's (beer with lemonade).

Saturday i slept in and then worked on the house. I took a nap and woke up bored so i went to go see The Happening, it was awful. The acting was so bad and story just kind of sucked. The previews for this looked kind of cool but it was a let down. I am not going to go into details as i hate to review things but do yourself a favor and don't go see it. It is equally as bad as the new Indiana Jones. As i was leaving the movie theatre i got a call and was asked if i wanted to see The Incredible Hulk in a few hours, i really had to think about it as i had just came from a movie. I decide there was nothing else to do so i would do it. I went home and ate and sat for a hour then went back to the same movie theatre and watched The Incredible Hulk. I was a little weary going into the movie as the previews looked shitty especially the CGI. What got me to go was the preview i saw two days earlier that showed Tony Stark (Iron Man/Robert Downy Jr.) making a cameo. Turns out the movie wasn't too bad, the writing was actually good and the story line was great. Edward Norton actually did a good job. The problem was the CGI, they just can't make The Incredible Hulk look real. Every time he turned up on the screen he looked like a cartoon set in a real world. I will say this movie was leaps and bounds better than the one that came out 4 or 5 years ago. The Tony Stark part was sweet as well, and i heard that you were supposed to be able to see Captain America in the background somewhere. I later found out the cut that scene from the movie, because it was too scary for kids. The scene was Bruce Banner finally giving up because he couldn't find a cure and he goes to the Arctic to kill himself and meets Captain America. It will be in the DVD as well as 70 minutes of extra footage. Did you know that Captain Americas shield is somewhere in the Iron Man movie?

Sunday- I built a closet and went to band practice. I cam home to something shitty. The end.